10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation: Ted Talk
Being a student in college, I meet new people every day; whether it be in my classes, on campus, or out at a bar. I have short conversations with them and talk about the basic things like where we’re from, what we’re studying, and where we live. They usually last around 5 minutes and after we’ve covered the basics there’s usually that awkward lull because neither of us can think of anything else to say to each other and we walk away. But sometimes, you have a really grand conversation with someone and leave it feeling so energised, inspired, and happy. You feel like you really connected with the other person and that they are completely on the same wavelength as you… it just flows.
In this month’s entertaining and informative TED Talk, Celeste Headlee states that if you choose and master as little as one of the ten rules she talks about, that there’s no reason all of your conversations can’t leave you with that grand feeling. How awesome would that be!
Headlee also made a really interesting point about the fact that all of us have been taught how to show that we’re paying attention to a conversation either by nodding our heads or looking the person in the eye, even though we’re actually thinking about that episode of Game of Thrones we watched last night. But she said, “there is no reason to learn how to show you’re paying attention if you are in fact paying attention”. I know I’m completely guilty of using those techniques and often do the head nod. I could be talking to someone and ask her where she bought her new shirt and that would remind me that I am dangerously low on clothes and need to do laundry, but I also need to do dishes, and clean my room, and all of a sudden five minutes have passed and I have no idea what she is talking about and completely missed her answer to my question.
Being able to have great conversations with people is a very helpful skill to have. We can learn so much from others if we actually take the time to completely focus on the conversation and be engaged in it. Bill Nye famously said: “everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t”. By listening and attempting to follow a few of Celeste Headlee’s tips, we can learn things that we never would have and form better, more meaningful relationships with the people we run into on the road of life.
Check out her TED Talk Here: